i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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