I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
