The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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