I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
