I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
MIDGETS
????
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize