I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
