I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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