Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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