my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
