I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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