So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Randomize