Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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