He uses pillows to masturbate.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
