Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
