How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
