I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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