I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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