i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
