No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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