Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
