Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
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