The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
