Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
My dick has a subreddit
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
