Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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