We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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