Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Randomize
