i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize