That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
