oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
