How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You can't special order awesome
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
