It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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