Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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