Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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