a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
