the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
