Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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