note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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