Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
