Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
