then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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