did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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