Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Pants are for mortals
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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