Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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