if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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