i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
