if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I have fence marks all over my body
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Randomize
