ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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