We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
