i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
