I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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