If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
