My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
