The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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