I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
