Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
tell me about the eggs
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize