you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
