i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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