oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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